Later in life, she may hold an opinion that all people who are “too skinny” must be bulimic like her childhood friend, and resort to body-shaming individuals she views as “too skinny” as a mechanism of some sort. This might also be a learning opportunity for her as she might not realize that commenting on a coworker’s physical appearance at work is not OKAY. Downing a woman for her body, thin or fat, creates this mentality that no body will ever be good enough. All bodies matter. This should prompt them to self-reflect, as well as give them a chance to take it back. The brutal and straightforward answers to HR-related queries and concerns. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I want to be honest about the fact that the concept of “thin-shaming” or “skinny-shaming” is a difficult one to talk about. People see commenting negatively about a skinny persons weight as okay but commenting negatively about an overweight person is body shaming. Required fields are marked *. When Laverne Cox posted a photo of herself … It’s super frustrating because I eat so much and it seems near impossible for me to gain weight. Women have been conditioned to feel this way, especially by men, for years and it needs to stop. When a newspaper clipping slid out of an envelope addressed to the studio, Ellis wasn’t particularly. But first, hear me out. 106 Comments. It depends on the situation. Which GOT Character Defines Your Personality. A Classy Way to Respond to Body Shaming. Maybe it’ll open their eyes. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle the negative comments or the comments of people meaning well and are concerned because they don’t understand that some people are naturally skinny? Send in your queries with the subject line ‘Ask JANE HARPER’ at info@thehrdigest.com. Hey you beautiful people, this was one hard video. Skinny shaming How we see a women’s body is impacted largely by patriarchal capitalism. How to Respond to Skinny Shaming Firstly, stand up for yourself. They might easily dismiss your concern (“It was just a joke!”) or get defensive (Are you accusing me of skinny-shaming?”). For some reason when I was modeling it was expected and now that I’m not it’s like why is she so skinny? Here are some ways to respond to these fat shaming attitudes around the home and at family functions. A Response to Alanah Pearce: Skinny Shaming and Jealousy. “What did you mean when you said that…” or “What information are you basing that on?”. Very heckin late to the game, but recently becoming a huge victim of skinny shaming since i changed my diet to remove inflaming foods. Honestly, I get my share of hurtful jibes – remarks on my thin wrists, ankles, and overall negative comments about my appearance. Yes, Skinny-Shaming Sucks. UK Supreme Court declares Uber Driver as workers in landmark case, Norway's Wealthiest Sovereign Fund Pushes For Gender Equality on Company Boards, KPMG UK head resigns over insensitive comments about pandemic-led staff issues, Eli Lilly CFO resigns over misconduct in workplace, How to inform manager about a new job offer. It is the act of negatively judging someone based on their physical appearance. Skinny shaming definitely exists, and until people accept and embrace all body types without feeling the need to put down another it’s definitely still a problem. ... How to create a purpose-driven organization? What is your take? Follow @thehrdigest on Twitter. Comments about appearance at work can certainly and justifiably lead to a trip to the HR. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. It's how they are conditioned to be. February 7, 2017 Updated February 8, 2017. People don’t realize they are BOTH body shaming and neither are okay. I picked up my daughter from basketball practice last week, and she plopped in the car and said, “I need to lift weights. Put your hands on your heart and bring much kindness and gentleness to yourself. Those are the usual and tame remarks, but then she spiced it up with “I was skinny like her a few years ago, but then I became less envious – more happier, and have since put on some weight.” She proceeded to tell us the virtues of a content personality. shutterstock_344342591. When I approached my boss and explained the situation, he laughed it off saying they’re jealous of fit people. Essentially, the comedian is saying that Zendaya responded to Rancic's hair shaming by losing weight — which just doesn't make a whole lot of sense. by Katie Bingham-Smith. The first step is to decide whether it’s worth addressing the skinny-shaming. Skinny shaming is extremely common right now, and frankly it needs to stop. Then again, I don’t think her presence would have mattered as R has commented on my appearance in the past when the HR was around. A coworker’s remarks on appearance at work can rise to microaggressions and lead to actionable harassment. Method 1of 3:Responding to Strangers. We can't really change people. by SELF. November 28, 2015. People who have experienced the pain of being made to feel ashamed of their bodies want to be validated and acknowledged for that – and they should be. And I do it in calm and mature way in hopes they won’t do it to someone else. And yes, based on the title of this article alone – I am fully prepared for the hateful comments and vitriolic “fan mail” to spam my inbox. For example, if R suggests that you’re skinny because you have an envious personality, you might say something like: “I read an interesting study the other day that found that our genes provide the code for how our body functions, and can have subtle or dramatic changes on features such as hair, eye color, and even body weight. Human resources expert and consultant. I lead a small team at a small-sized enterprise. In her day, shaming was used more (not that it should have been) to try to control behaviors of family and friends. Skinny shaming is a new trend where women who are deemed as “too skinny” are called out and held as the epitome of being self-involved, unhealthy, or just downright someone to dislike. 1. That’s not to say you shouldn’t speak up. If you do have time and inclination to challenge body shaming, you can try saying something along the lines of “I try not to talk negatively about bodies,” or, “I find it really triggering when people say negative things about bodies,” or, “what a weird world we live in where people feel they can judge each other’s bodies.” These lunches have turned into a big social gathering as employees of various departments gather in the balcony to eat, chat and mingle. This isn’t the first time R has made offhanded comments about my body. If they are being uncomfortable about your weight, their immediate social circles are like that. California employers should reexamine their employee handbook to ensure that it is up to date. I’ve never taken it personally because I don’t think it means anything. Your email address will not be published. Body shaming behaviors often include: Fad dieting rather than focusing on proper and healthy nutrition and eating habits It's really very very demeaning and I've wasted so much time grieving over it. My arms are too skinny.” If you feel you might get pushback while addressing the coworker’s offensive behavior. Tune into the loneliness and heartache you feel and the helplessness you feel over the other person. In this case, the HR may have an implicit bias because of her close proximity with R. Any smattering of highly personal comments about physical appearance at work are both infuriating and demoralizing. Skinny shaming can be as harmful as fat shaming. To the point that when I feel pressured to eat I loose my appetite. If people commonly comment on certain parts of your body, it can help if you practice a response to those comments. It really helps talking to someone who goes through what you do. Laverne Cox, who loves herself just as she is. Whether you want to stay up-to-date on HR news, read in-depth insights on HR trends or find new ideas on strategy, innovation, and leadership, The HR Digest Magazine is here to suit your needs and help you stay more informed. If it’s friends you can bring them into an empathetic fold. I have the same problem! Before that, you need to consider who you’re dealing with, what their reaction might be, and what the costs will be if you speak up. It’s turning into a vicious cycle. Some of the things people say, they would … I modeled up until about a year ago (just occasionally do it for fun) and I’ve started noticing so many negative comments from people. Something like “making big changes to your physique is tough regardless of whether you need to gain or lose weight” is one approach. fewer genetic variants that increase their chances of being overweight.”. My editorial team and I had a long talk about it, and we want to make sure that the focus is on being fit as opposed to a number on the scale. For instance, if people often comment negatively about your weight, think up responses you can use later. Your email address will not be published. 4 posts in this topic. I have never been big, I have always been “tiny” as people like to say. People consider it rude to mention that someone is overweight but it is fair game to go on about someone being too skinny. Skinny shaming , HELP?! Of course it depends who says it, but go ahead, tell us what you think. Started by Piyu, 5 May 2018. If the comments about your appearance continue, you should consider escalating the issue. What can we learn from the COVID-19 crisis about building an inclusive workforce? Suggesting the salad to the heavy-set girl hurts her, no matter how well-intentioned; bombarding me with snide asides, back-handed compliments, unsolicited concern and advice, the skinny sarcasm, bad jokes, negative body speculations, unfair accusations, unwelcomed … With confidence in yourself and your body. In the video, Alanah explained how she felt … On the other hand, thin people have a much lower genetic risk score, i.e. They've been conditioned to be that way. I’ve always been pretty confident with my body and my looks but it has been really getting to me. None of this was a big deal to me until a coworker commented that “a chubby woman is a happy woman.” “R,” a member of another team loves to tell people how some women are skinny because they have an envious personality which burns all the fat in their body. The sad fact is that shaming can create the very situation that your grandmother is shaming you for. I always try to let them know it’s rude and just as hurtful and that typically makes them more aware. Fat people are found to have a higher genetic risk score than skinny people, which contributes to their risk of being fat. Speak up… You’ll certainly draw attention to the comment and put the other person on the defensive. I came across a video on YouTube of Alanah Pearce back in 2018 sharing her experiences while losing 40 pounds. To make Friday a little sweeter, and definitely, a day employees look forward to, we have lunch together. This was a good thing – a very good thing, in fact, and for several reasons until I became the subject of skinny shaming. If you don’t learn to speak up, you’re essentially giving R the permission to do it again. The 2020 pandemic has limited in-person interactions to a minimum, with most countries declaring lockdowns or mandating a stay-at-home polic... A landmark decision by the United States Supreme Court ruled that every employee represented by any labor union and are summoned for an inve... You’ll certainly draw attention to the comment and put the other person on the defensive. Recent posts from women who have lost weight and posted themselves on social media sites have encountered ugly comments and campaigns like never before in history. First, take your mind off of yourself and try to silently understand … This might also be a learning opportunity for her as she might not realize that commenting on a coworker’s physical … The first step is to decide whether it’s worth addressing the skinny-shaming. There is a preconceived notion that if you are skinny that you have it easy, and that there is no way that you could be self-conscious; however, that is not the case. As a young woman and a feminist, whose approach to work is guided by principles of inclusion, equality, and fairness in the workplace, I find these sort of comments nothing more than an attempt to undermine one’s authority and devalue their input in the workplace. Read Jane Harper’s take on how to respond to offensive comments at work. “I know it wasn’t your intent, but your comment made me feel uncomfortable.” Follow the initial statement with a question. 1. The HR wasn’t around when this happened. I have literally served my life on a platter here. Instead of beating yourself up, you should really feel sorry for THEM because they lack compassion about other people's bodies. I just read a couple of articles entitled, “The Myth of skinny-shaming,” and “Why Skinny-shaming is Not the Same as Fat Discrimination.” Tune in to your heart — to how sad you feel when you are shamed and blamed. Practice ahead of time. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Yet, I continue to face skinny-shaming. Our heart always hurts when others are being mean. I’ve always been a size 6-8 and have had various comments from work colleagues and the like over the years surrounding being skinny. The UK Supreme Court has ruled that drivers employed by Uber are workers and not contractors or self-employed and entitled to minimum wages and holiday pay. You can educate them by offering more information. If people are frequent with their skinny shaming comments, you must also learn to ignore. I havent said it to anyone yet, but i really want to respond to any and all comments with “please stop commenting on my body.”, I, too, am really skinny. Skinny-Shaming Is A Thing Too, And It’s Not Taken (Or Given) As A Compliment. You and your body don't owe anyone shit :), New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the skinnyshaming community, Press J to jump to the feed. September 11, 2020. Michael Brockbank healthier lifestyle, healthy living, losing weight, mental health, physical fitness. About 5 minutes into her speech, she looked at me and said something to the effect of “you should learn to be less envious since your body quickly burns all that fat.” Soon, another coworker chimed in. Skinny-shaming is, plainly, when someone is criticizing a person for how thin they look. Don’t take it personally. Are they self-reflective?”, Explain how their comments on your appearance make you feel. Body shaming in any form is oppressive. The UK Supreme Court has ruled that drivers employed by Uber are workers and not contractors or self-employed and entitled to minimum wages ... A workplace is a throbbing place where people meet deadlines, rushing targets, working, and chasing career growth. I’m naturally skinny and don’t have a big appetite but I feel a lot of pressure to prove to people that I do eat. If you don’t. The stakes are higher because you’re in a position of power. 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